Set It Free
by Vampire-Goth-Girl
Summary: They say if you love something set it free and if it doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be. Spoilers! Rated T because of very light cussing and I'm paranoid.


**AN: I have been watching Queer as Folk recently and listening to the new Blood On The Dance Floor CD Evolution. The song on there Incomplete and All Alone Featuring Joel Madden automatically made me think about Brian and Justin. Especially the lines 'They say if you love something, set it free, and if it don't come back, it wasn't meant to be.' I know that it has somewhat been done before. So here is my new on-shot. Hope you guys like it. Sorry for any mistakes. It's in Brian's POV.**

I have heard the saying 'if you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be' or was it 'if it comes back it was always yours'? I'm not completely sure which one it is, but I think that's it the first one. I don't remember though. Numerous times have I heard both these sayings, and until now I never thought to much of it. Looking back on my time with Justin though, you would think that I would have taken the saying into consideration.

Not to long ago I had to set Justin free. He was 19 and he wanted to be with that fucking violinist. I had no choice but to set him free, it was that or live with the delusion that he was still with me. I am not completely off my rocker so...

Anyway, he come back. Eventually, but you know better late than never. That stupid little asshole Ethan or Ian or whatever his name was cheated on him. He realized that monogamy is a lie. That kid promised Justin that he only wanted Justin but one night without Justin and little fucker cheats on him.

Either way he came back to me. Maybe it just a rebound thing, I don't know. All I know is that if the saying about letting people go is true, that should mean Justin is meant to be with me and that he's mine.

Then Rage was going to be made into major motion picture and Justin had to stay in Hollywood to make up the storyboards. First it was three months that he would be there then, slowly he kept adding time saying they needed him to stay longer. I accepted that. Unhappily, but I did. I knew again that he needed to go be his 20-something self. He's young and he needs to be his own person and he can't be that in Pittsburgh with me here. Especially when he tries so hard to make me happy. That's not what he needs at this point in his life.

So again I let him go only for the plug to get pulled on Rage. Instead of staying in California to pursue a career in art he came back. To me. Again. Not that I was complaining. Again a reassurance that maybe he actually was meant to be with me.

Then again I had to let Justin go again. While I was at Babylon he stayed at the loft to think. Apparently, his thoughts were how to leave me. He wanted the same kind of things Micheal did and I guess I didn't. Or at least I made sure it seemed like I didn't.

I let him go. I let him walk right out of my door. I should have stopped him, but I had to let him go. If I didn't, and we lived in a lie of matrimony he would have come to regret me because at the time, I resisted any and all forms of commitment, and he would have left me in the end, so he still would have left in the end. Yet again though, he came back to me, even if it was after I said that I loved him. For the third time showing that he was always mine and he was just waiting for me to realize that I was his too.

Now here I am again in a situation where I need to let Justin go _again_ to leave for New York. I don't want to let him go anywhere. But I also don't want him to regret marrying me because I made him give up his life for my happiness. I have to let him to go.

This is the first time that I have let him go that I have acknowledged it was because I loved him. As he has told me, we'll see each other again. Even if it might take awhile.

I know this. Every time I have let him go, he comes back. So, I have to trust that this time, he's going to come back again. I'm holding onto to the knowledge that this is the fourth time that I have to let Justin go so he could follow his dreams.

Monogamy and art. When he left me for Ethan and after he had been thinking while I was at Babylon he decided he wanted marriage or at least someone who will only be with him and no one else. When he left for Hollywood and now while I am waiting for him to leave for New York, he is leaving because that is where his art has taken him.

I'm not going to hold him back from that. Plus, we may have broken the engagement but we never actually broke up.

As the saying goes 'If you love something set it free, and if it doesn't come back, it wasn't meant to be' or maybe the it's actually 'if it comes back it was always your, and if it doesn't then it never was.' I can't remember. Either way though, if the saying are true, Justin is mine and we were meant to be. This is the fourth time I have let him go because, whether I knew it not, I love him. I have to believe that he's going to come back again.

**AN: Does anybody else feel like reading fan fiction only makes you want the show back even more? This is a lot longer than any of my other stories, which is sad because this is pretty short too. Anyway hope you liked it. Review please!**


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